OH, TO BE FOUR YEARS OLD AGAIN
(May/June 2006 Issue)

One sunny Saturday afternoon I was hanging around my house when I heard a loud, insistent knocking on my door. It came from the lower part of the door, which seemed odd to me until I opened it. There stood a little boy about four years old, and, in the kind but in-a-hurry way that little boys have, he asked me: "Do you have any kids in here who want to come out and play?"

In the language of career counselors, he was doing an information interview for his career of the moment, which was playing. He was completely spontaneous, knew what he wanted and asked for it. Somewhere between four years old and adulthood, he may lose his spontaneity and become afraid of talking to people he doesn't know. Why do we have to teach people information interviewing? Why does it produce so much anxiety? OK, the stakes in job hunting are high, but it's more than that.

All the research and our anecdotal experience shout loudly in support of face-to-face contact as the best way to allocate your time and effort in job hunting. Yet many of our clients resist it or freeze up when faced with real people. They retreat to the Internet or other less personal forms of communication. Sure, sending out dozens of resumes leads to frustration. But, it's so safe and cozy at home, job hunting by computer.

Making contact with the job world electronically is a form of hiding. The more a job hunter pulls back from face-to-face contact, the more he is learning to be afraid of it. Pretty soon we'll have to wear masks to job interviews. Maybe we already do.

So, we're in the business of teaching people to be human again, to learn that doing information interviewing can be exhilarating rather than anxiety-producing.

You hear people say: "You have only one chance to make a first impression." This helps the clothing industry, but it's the kind of advice that people don't need. The popularity of "make-overs" today is a sign of mass insecurity.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Depending on what research you read, 40 to 70 per cent of people describe themselves as having some degree of an affliction known as shyness. As though shyness is genetic and there's nothing you can do about it. On the contrary. It's learned helplessness. Much of it is very specific to job hunting. Many people are assertive in the rest of their lives and passive in the job search.

The bureaucracies of employment departments intimidate job hunters into thinking they must do everything by the numbers. Send your resume here, do this, do that, stand in line and wait . . . and wait. Savvy job hunters learn to do the opposite. They make contact first and leave the paperwork for later.

Our clients need to be nudged, persuaded, and urged toward as much face-to-face contact as they can stand, until it becomes second nature. They will get the jobs eyeball-to-eyeball and paperwork will be a formality.

Our job is to re-infuse our clients with the spirit of the four-year old boy or girl, roaming the neighborhood, looking for friends. They are most definitely out there. The four-year old has to worry about the neighborhood's safety factor, but most of the job hunters' fear is within.

"Knocking on doors" is good. When the door opens (on phone or in-person), there's a person to meet. And an opportunity that would never have occurred if you had sent a piece of paper in the mail.

Howard Figler, Ph.D., is the author of seven books, including The Complete Job-Search Handbook [third edition, Henry Holt & Company, New York, 1999], a best seller for many years. He is co-author [with Richard Bolles] of the Career Counselor's Handbook [Ten Speed Press, Berkeley, CA, 1999]. His most recent book is Keys to Liberal Arts Success [Prentice-Hall, 2002]. He can be reached at: Howard Figler, Ph.D., and Associates, 9542 Shumway Drive, Orangeville, CA 95662 USA. Tel: 916-988-6464; e-mail: hefigler@pacbell.net.