WHEN PROSPECTS ASK FOR REFERENCES
(March/April 2005 Issue)

Your prospect likes what they've heard; they say they want to go ahead, but first they'd like to call some references. Is references really what they need? I don't believe so. I think they're actually saying, "I don’t have enough confidence in myself to invest in your career services."

So my assumption is this: a request for references is a statement of caution, even self-doubt, on the part of a prospect. For us as professionals, it's easy to hear such a request as a challenge to our competence. It’s not. It’s a failure of their self-confidence.

Having made that bold statement, let me soften it a bit. Sometimes prospects have indeed decided to work with you and are making a legitimate request to verify your credentials, or that past clients met or exceeded their goals. In my experience that’s 5 per cent of cases. In that sense, they may ask for "references" but in following up what they hope to hear is, "Jack Chapman’s program worked for me, and I’m sure it will work for you too." The remaining 95 per cent of reference requests come from prospects who don't believe in themselves enough to believe you can help them.

In fact, when someone doesn't sign up to work with you, it's not because they doubt that your program works for others. Rather, it’s almost always because they suspect they will be the exception. Somehow they're a special case or a "lost cause."

They fear they don’t have enough to offer employers. Their self-confidence is running on empty. Thus, I always recommend that your sales process include a CAP (Career Action Planning) session first. CAP sessions always include the "What's Working" part of the feedback. This gives you a golden opportunity to fuel their self confidence enough to invest in themselves: "You're good at _______!" "Whenever you are ___-ing and ____-ing, you're successful and enjoy it." This gives them a foundation of belief in themselves so they can say, "I feel good enough about myself that I’m willing to invest in someone else to help me."

For prospects who are prone to self-doubt, providing a list of references is bound to backfire. Why? An offer such as, "Well, you can call Susie, Bill, or James who went to the moon working with me," inadvertently confirms your prospect’s suspicion that you don’t understand how different their case is from those lucky others. Dispensing names not only fails to address their lack of self-reliance, it paradoxically confirms it. You can’t always recognize when a request is driven by low self-esteem. So what do you do?

When I'm asked for references of past clients, I say, "Sure! In fact, you'll not only meet past clients, but you'll meet people I'm currently working with who are in the thick of it. I'm glad to have you talk to past and present clients. However, I never use my clients as sales people. It's not their job to explain what I do or to help you make up your mind about whether this is a proper investment for you. So first let’s finish the conversation about ‘Is this something you feel is the right investment for you and the right thing to do.’ If it is, and you want to get started, I'd be glad to refer you to clients so you can check me out. What are the last questions, if any, about this being the right investment for you?" That's the place you want to go. If you give the references and they start checking them, they will involve those people in their own "Should I or shouldn't I?" dilemma.

This may sound simple, but let’s say that the prospect insists, assuring you that they would never ask them to help them choose but only find out how they liked working with you. "I understand," you reply, "but if you haven't made your mind up, you can't help but involve them in a ‘Should I or Shouldn't I?’ discussion because that’s where you would be coming from at the time." Ultimately, of course, you're happy to provide references -- but only after they've signed an agreement and you've got the homework going and first session scheduled.

It’s important to lay the groundwork for providing references. At this point in your own career, you should have 5-10 successful former clients from whom you have permission to give their names out occasionally. It's not a burden, because if you have 5 people and they agree to twice a year, that's 10 references you'll have ready. You probably won’t be asked for references more than 10 times a year, so the base should be covered. You should brief them on the procedure you want followed just as you will have briefed your prospect on the same procedure. Explain to your references that anyone who calls has been instructed to ask two important questions:

"Did Jack Chapman deliver what he said he would deliver?"

"What was the difference you found working with a coach like Jack vs. doing it alone?"

Let your reference know clearly that you will coach callers to not ask what we specifically did during your campaign nor how it worked. Remind your reference that everyone’s campaign is unique, and encourage them to avoid going into specific details with callers, or comparing situations. One client wants a new job while another desires a promotion. One needs time management skills, another just needs networking coaching. If a former client goes into detail while providing a reference, the prospect may think, "Shoot! That’s not what I want or need. My problem is different." The truth is, I provide a full range of career services. I don’t want the menu discussed, only how pleasing the banquet was. So please limit your conversation to two points. Did I live up to my word? Did it make a difference to have a coach?

Remember, you tell your reference person that, and you also brief your prospect the same way. "I do different things with different people," you say, "so don't ask the reference what I did with them, because I might do different things for you. Don't get into a long conversation about what we did first, second, and third, etc. Just check out my integrity and the value of having a coach."

That way, everyone's on the same page. You're controlling the process. You're sending them to the right people at the right time. You FIRST establish that they want to work with you. You get an agreement and some initial payment. You let them know that you'll provide references, and if after talking with the references they don’t like what they hear, you'll tear up the agreement if that's what they want.

What will really happen when you postpone delivery of references?

Usually it brings them back to the location of the problem: it lies within themselves and their decision to believe in themselves enough to get going with you. Once that's handled, one of three things happen. One, they forget all about references and you're off and running (the most common outcome). Two, you give them references, but they don’t pursue them, since just having them was sufficient. Three, you give a few references and they call them up and it confirms and enhances their decision to work with you.

One, two, three -- you win every time.

Jack Chapman is author of:
Negotiating Your Salary: How to Make $1000 a Minute
He is a career consultant in private practice and runs ongoing support and training teleconference sessions for career consultants in private practice.
He can be reached at 847-251-4727 or jkchapman@aol.com