BRINGING THE WIFE OR HUSBAND
Selling a Package, Inviting the Spouse
(January/February 2006 Issue)

We've discussed package payments vs. hourly payments from many perspectives. There are many advantages to the "whole package" approach, but it's only fair to say that closing the deal up front -- even if the payment plan has the money coming in monthly -- is more difficult.

The following only applies to career advisors who work on a "package" basis. Personally, my package is the whole shootin' match: beginning-to-end Job Search. Others have smaller packages. If the ticket price is $1000 or more, it's likely that it will require the spouse to be part of the decision. So, any time you think that committing to a package price will need to be discussed with their spouse, you want to include that spouse in the presentation. The bigger the package price, the more important to have the both people at the presentation.

The first hurdle to getting the spouse there is in your own mind. I recall when I first said, "Please bring your wife [husband] to the next meeting," I felt like an aluminum siding salesperson. You may have your own variation in your head. Condominium sales, encyclopedia sales, etc. It always felt manipulative to ask the spouse to attend. It was like I was going to surprise them with a big decision and then lock them in the room until they write me a check.

After a while, when prospect after prospect told me, "Thank You! I'm so relieved that we can both come," I realized that it was a valuable invitation that I offer. They want their spouse there so they can talk about it together.

It was, indeed, a manipulation, but no more a manipulation than asking someone over for dinner, or to attend a planning meeting. It's a manipulation for their own good. Because the other way -- coming alone -- is much more a manipulation on the client's part! No one wants to make a mistake with money. So, we often set up a way to "back away" and "think about it" so we can be safe from making a mistake. The problem is, if the client comes alone it will have the exact wrong effect. Instead of making a safer decision by talking it through with the spouse, they make a fear-based decision trying to explain it all alone to their spouse later -- a set up for a poorly informed decision.

When the spouse is not included you'll invariably get a "well I have to go talk to my spouse," response to your career advancement proposal. I get it 85 per cent of the time if I'm talking to a man. I get it about 40 per cent of the time if I'm talking with a woman. Most men will say, "I have to talk this over with my wife." Most women will not say, "I have to talk this over with my husband." That's been my experience.

What you're looking for is a fully informed decision and a decision that the spouse will be supportive of. If you don't have a supportive spouse, then when your client goes out on his fifth, tenth, fifteenth, or so, networking interview, the spouse might say, "Hey ... when do you get off this networking thing and get to real job interviews? You paid a lot of money ... where are your job interviews?" If the spouse hasn't been to the proposal session, he/she doesn't know what the program is all about. How can someone be supportive of something they don't understand?


So, here's what I say at the end of the "intake" meeting where I set out the agenda of what needs to be worked on. I call those items "Next steps." "Prospect, would you like to learn what it would be like to tackle those next steps with my coaching instead of trying to do it all alone?

They say, "yes."

Okay, there's no cost for the next meeting. I'll prepare a proposal for you. We'll go over what's involved on your part, what's involved on my part, the fee to work together, and how it can be handled so it's not a problem for you. Then if you like what you hear, we can get started; if not, you'll at least have a little better idea what it'll take on your own. What day would work with you?

And I'd like to invite (spouse) to that meeting. The reason is this. Only you can decide to put in the time, money, and effort needed for us to succeed, but unless you and I have the support of your spouse along with your decision, it tends to diminish our work together. Since no one can be supportive of something unless they understand it, I'd like (spouse) to join us so s/he can be fully informed and able to discuss this with you.

If I don't get their assent, I go to the backup strategy. "Okay, if s/he can't come then would you share with him/her what we talked about, ask him/her to read these notes and listen to the tape recording of our meeting [FYI, I give them a tape recording of the "feedback" portion of my first meeting] and ask her if she'll trust your judgment to decide alone? It would be a decision of several hundred dollars a month for several months."

Without both people there, the decision making gets sloppy, drawn out, confused, and stalled. It does not serve you nor them. If the spouse can't come, then make sure you get the "Trust your judgment in the matter" agreement from the prospect.

Jack Chapman is author of:
Negotiating Your Salary: How to Make $1000 a Minute
He is a career consultant in private practice and runs ongoing support and training teleconference sessions for career consultants in private practice.
He can be reached at 847-251-4727 or jkchapman@aol.com